just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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