dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
