porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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