My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
