i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Life is so much better after having sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
