You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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