I hate your face
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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