Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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