What did we do last night that was yellow?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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