So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
