would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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