this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
