I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
