No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
