You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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