i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
