Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I touched a dick in church today
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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