Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize