You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize