Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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