I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
