census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize