Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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