you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
