Whod you bang
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
