Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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