I wish i was in the wii world.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
