dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
