we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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