I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
