I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
