the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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