i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
