i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize