Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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