I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I smell stomach acid.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
