She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
