i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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