I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
