So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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