I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
