My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
