I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
COCAINE IS GR8
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
