News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I deserve this hangover.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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