I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
