you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
