Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
