i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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