Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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