remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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