At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
