I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
