have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Couch. On fire.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize