New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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