She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
