i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Even my vagina gasped.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
