he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
